Happy Father's Day

Time has flown by and blogging has been neglected. Many changes, losses and gains. The  hustle and bustle of family life can put blogging on the back burner. So many stories and events to tell, I often times lay awake trying to find an eloquent way to connect the dots and events because Father Time keeps on marching, he waits for no one. The thought that most often comes to mind is, family comes first, through thick and thin my children, my husband, my family = my true North.

Cate has been with us for two years as of yesterday, it has been a journey of joy, sorrow, love  and triumph for a little girl who was dealt a hand that had little promise. She is our daughter,  little sister, grand daughter, friend and her spirit shines with her spunk and tenacity. She is a warrior through and through, no fear, full speed ahead, her tank is full of gusto.

I believe God led us to both girls. Adopting both girls so close together has been one of the most difficult times in our lives. When I am truly honest I can admit that it was probably the most terrifying time in my life. I wanted Olivia for so many reasons and my gut told me YES YES YES but my head said NO NO NO most of the time. We persevered through the difficult times, the process, figuring out the financial, logistical side of it all. Agreeing, disagreeing, love, anger and of course the doubt. Our family feels complete and stronger because of the journey.

When we departed for China we knew David's father, John was ill, the symptoms did not sound good. We came home on August 1 2015 and settled into a routine with Olivia. As every adoptive family knows it takes awhile to get to know "who" your child is, especially true with an older child. While David's Mom and Dad went to numerous appointments and John went through several   parenthesis procedures our life is Salt Lake City was all about finding a balance, a new normal. A heathy serving of compromises all around when you add another child to the family. As a mother I was so grateful that Olivia found peace and serenity in David's presence. It was an honor to see David be the favored one, he relished in her love and she blossomed and learned to trust while in his arms.

The family plate was so full, the house was literally full, David's work schedule was full, the boys were busy and Cate was an exploding, exploring, fairly typical toddler. Fine tuning our lives in order to see where every member fit into this group of six was a giant hurdle. Through the struggles I learned a valuable tidbit... sometimes tearing it down to the sticks is awful, it's hard and daunting. Sometimes so difficult to the point where you are forced to dig deep, cry in the shower, call in favors, pray, pray some more, ask for forgiveness, ask for strength and more than once you will want to run from the fear of letting it ALL go to God's hand. In the end rebuilding, redoing, refurbishing, repurposing, realigning and rereading your life's values and gifts is a much better option than literally staying stuck in the old. The growth and beauty on the other side is worth the jump.

This is where connecting the dots becomes so hard. A man I knew for almost 25 years was dying and there was not a viable option to save him. Our lives were about to change yet again, and it had only been a few months between our adoption and his diagnosis. David turned his focus towards his parents, and spent a great deal of time in his childhood home, helping his parents navigate a  new normal that was fast approaching. It felt like we were all breaking, a man of great courage, a man full of kindness, a man who had lived his entire life for his family. He faced his illness with great courage and with Mitzie by his side. We decided to spend the holidays out in California. John was actually in the hospital over Thanksgiving, he met his newest granddaughter in a hospital room. It wasn't until after he passed that we realized we did not have a single photo of John with Olivia. Funny how history repeats itself, because David's grandfather died shortly after John and Mitzie adopted David. There is only one photo of David with his grandfather.

Through all of the appointments, restrictions and changes John did not fight or become cross because he was ill. Ever cheerful and always entertaining, he was full of God's grace everyday.  He treated me as his own and there was never a day I doubted he loved me. In December, we began to spend as much time out in California as we possibly could. We left John David for weeks on end since he could not miss school. I am forever grateful for that time with John and Mitzie. We watched the leader of our family, the man at the head of the table, falter as his illness took over his body. He was a man of habits, a little butter on most everything. He was always ready for a meal, a drink, a trip, a chat, a party. He kept calendars with quick personal notes that he could easily reference a trivial question, where did we go to dinner for Fathers Day in 2005 ? He kept list and wrote everything down. He taught me patience and showed me that having faith in life, my marriage and my family was important.

He died peacefully at home on February 24th, 2016. A stream of visitors preceded his death, he was a very popular guy. His eulogy was penned from the heart by his son, my husband, not a dry eye at St. Isabella's that day. John's luncheon was held at La Toscana, the restaurant where I first met John, where we went after Wyatt's baptism, my 51st birthday and just a few days ago a celebration with friends and family for Mitzie's seventy third. The first time I met John he was kind and entertaining, Mitzie had warned him to be on his best behavior because she thought I would become their daughter in law. She was right and not only did I become their daughter in law, I became a member of their family, a part of there lives. Through all of  the years they (John and Mitzie) showed me the importance of commitment and kindness. They truly loved each other, the old fashioned kind of love that is missing in our world today. My dear sweet father in law, you are missed, your silly jokes are missed and I am still eating hot sauce from the Central Valley. Happy Father's Day.

Learn to be still

What a busy few days, Olivia is delicate, deliberate and such a soulful little person. As A mother my heart aches for her and I long to know her story. In the few days we have had her we have learned a great deal but for now we are her story and she will slowly begin to find where she f its in our family. We are all letting her settle in on her own terms, she is 4.5 years old and has developed definite likes and dislikes during her time at the orphanage. The Yangzhou orphanage was absolutely beautiful and very peaceful, quite different from our last experience. Our visit with Olivia went well,  she did not hesitate to go to the nannies nor did she hesitate to return to us. She is such a brave little girl and in her own time I am certain she will be a energetic, care free child. She loves David and goes to him if he is around. She is very, very thoughtful and is the most delicate child I have ever met. Olivia will teach us to learn to be still. Everyday she shows a little more of herself and becomes more accepting of the boisterous family she has fallen into. Cate is sweet and kind to her, yet at the same time she brings out a component of Cate we have never seen. It is not jealousy or competition it is almost as though Cate is trying to communicate to Olivia to let go, put the top down, feel the wind in your hair. I can hear Cate saying in an adult voice " hey these people look different and sometimes it's crazy but jump in big sister because it's been a great ride and you will be loved." A long time ago when I had Wyatt and his personality started to appear it dawned on me that I had very little to do with who he was, I naively thought that Wyatt would be a mini version of John David, that it was me who shaped and molded these little people. It was at that point I wanted dozen children. Life moved on and here we are in a hotel in China with 2 teenagers, a toddler and a little girl who is stronger than any person I know. David asked me one of those "if I would of questions last night." The girls were ready for bed and between us and he said if "I would have told you 10 years ago we'd be in China with 4 kids in July of 2015, what would you have to say to that." My response was "I'm tired." I am tired, but not because of exhaustion, I am tired because we are away from home and all that we have that makes us feel comfortable each day. I am tired because this is an exhausting process and there is one more in our bed. One more to love and one more who counts, one more who has a voice and one more who will teach us so many things. We are forever grateful to everyone who held us up through the process and grateful for the those who knocked us down, because somewhere in between is the place where you find peace and discover that God will provide and guide you live in the light of Christ. She is here and she is a gift that we are still unwrapping. It is through the strength you muster to leap off the ledge that makes you catch your breath for those "single" moments that make your life complete.

We have found out very little information except that she was about one week old and found by the doors of a bus stop. 

July 6th - Family Day

The journey started days ago and has been packed with planes, trains and automobiles. There has been little time to blog and as many times as I have wanted to attempt, it has been too late, too tired or simply too much. Traveling with Cate has been a totally different experience for everyone. Cate has been very adaptable along the way, she is excited to see and do and loves to be on the move. John David and Wyatt are GWT's, (David's acronym for Great World Travelers). 

We started in Salt Lake City on June 26 and travelled to Marin County to meet up with David. The timing did not work out as we had planned so many adjustments along the way had the family starting out at a later date than expected. We spent a few days in Marin and readied for the trip to China with last minute shopping and preparation. We then flew to Seattle and had a quick visit with David's family, John and Mitzie were visiting Robin and Greg already so it was a nice stop with a lovely dinner and then morning departure for Seattle airport. 

We landed in Shanghai and hit the ground running. Shanghai has so much to see, a beautiful city and we hired a guide to take us out to some other cities including Suzhou and the ancient water town of ZhouZhuang, places that were "must sees." Shanghai is definitely on the list for a revisit. 

Today is a life changing day for Olivia, as she is being readied to meet her forever family and we pray her heart has been opened by God to know that she will be loved. 

Please keep us in your heart and prayers. We will post pics and catch up as soon as we catch our breath. 

Lifesong Matching Grant

Dear friends and family,

Over the Memorial Day weekend we went to Moab for a school camp trip.  We were leaving for 3 days and I was a little worried that being out of touch we might miss an important phone call, a notification from our agency or China. I knew that there was little chance of any significant movement in the USA, but China was still up and running and I was a little apprehensive about leaving for the desert.  While driving, we stopped for gas and I ran in to use the restroom, David gave me a quick hug and off I went with Cate in tow. When we returned he said he was headed in to grab a drink, but he had something to tell me when he returned. I assumed it was not earth shattering news. IMAGINE THIS !!!!!!!

Here we are at a gas station in the middle of nowhere, and he had received a call that will truly make a difference in our journey to Olivia. The news was that we had been selected for a matching grant of $2500 from Lifesong for Orphans.  For every dollar contributed by our friends, our family, and our community, Lifesong will match the donation up to $2500.

Just four families were accepted this period and we feel blessed, humbled and very, very grateful for this opportunity. Lifesong is an amazing organization advocating and providing adoption grants and free funding loans for orphans around the world.  This will grant will enable us to use less credit, loans, and borrowing from other sources, as we near the end of the process.

Instructions for Tax Deductible Giving

There are several options for giving as outlined below. Lifesong is a is a 501(c)3 tax exempt organization, allowing your entire donation to be fully tax-deductible. Lifesong has been blessed with a partnership that underwrites all U.S. administrative and fund raising costs (TMG Foundation and other partners). That means 100% of your donation will go directly to Olivia’s adoption.

One option is to click on the PayPal button on the right navigation bar. You will be redirected to our LifeSong Family #5288 account. Family name is Mohr

Second, you can give online. Simply go to www.lifesongfororphans.org/give/donate. Select “Give to an Adoptive Family.” Complete the online form and fill in “Family Account #5288 and “Family Name, Mohr” fields

Third, to give by personal check Please make checks payable to “Lifesong for Orphans." In the memo line note family account # 5288 and family name “Mohr” to ensure it goes to the correct account. Please mail to

Lifesong for Orphans

P.O. Box 40

Gridley, IL

61744

In following with the IRS guidelines, your donation is to the named non-profit organization. The organization retains full discretion over its use and intends to honor the donor’s suggested use. Individual donations of $250 or more will receive a tax-deductible receipt. Receipts for donations under $250 will gladly be sent upon request from the donor.

The high cost of adoption is unfortunately the number one reason that so families decide not to adopt. We did not pursue any financial assistance or grants during Cate's adoption because we felt there were so many families with greater needs than ours.  We are so very fortunate and we were able to make some adjustments, have David fly a lot of overtime, and borrow from our retirement.  The truth is adoption is very expensive, there are no ways to save or cut corners, the cost is is written in stone.  We had no plans to adopt again, but when we were presented with another little girl in need of a family, though we certainly could not afford the cost, we felt called to proceed and trusted that we would solve the finances along the way.  With Olivia joining our family so soon after Cate, we find ourselves in the very humbling position of asking for help, a position that is uncomfortable, but one we found necessary as we navigated the financial obstacles we faced and applied for some grants.

Once again, David and I were reminded that God has placed adoption in our hearts and He will help provide.  St. Augustine said, "God will provide the wind but man must raise the sail".

With our sail up, we humbly ask you first and foremost, to pray for little Olivia's heart, that she may be prepared for the difficult transition of leaving behind everything she has known for 4 and 1/2 years, and joining us, her new family on the other side of the world. in a new place, with a new language, and new culture.

Second, we ask that you prayerfully consider contributing to this matching grant at Lifesong, that will help us complete Olivia's adoption.  Even the smallest gift will help enable us to reach the total and realize the full benefit of this grant from Lifesong.

Thank you for investing in the life of a child who will no longer be an orphan through your support of this adoption journey. Your investment will have an an eternal return for Olivia. We will continue blogging about our journey to Olivia Yurui Grace Mohr.  Please pray with us that this adoption will glorify God and enrich Olivia's life.

 Below are two photos, one is our referral photo and the other is from two weeks ago

The first is Yu Rui (soon Olivia) holding a sign that is to be posted so that she can be placed on an adoption advocacy site, she is 4.5 years old and she considered an older child in the adoption world, one of the many, many children that due to her age is far less likely to be adopted.  This is the photo we were given when she was referred to us:

This is Olivia 10 days ago when she met our agency director and she was told she has a family that is coming for her.  We were able to send a family photo album to her via our director. I am told that while the kids don't truly grasp the concept of having their own family, the children know that getting the  photo album delivered is a "good"  thing, lots of clapping and hugging. The director said the children were especially excited because this time around she had a large number of albums and that it was also a day when children adopted a week earlier came for a visit with their new families. Notice that Olivia's hair is being let to grow, some say it is another sign she has a family coming. 

Her name is Olivia

The clock to TA ( travel approval from China ) is is countdown mode, but the U.S State Department National Visa Center was experiencing IT glitch. We have been instructed to keep trying and trying to access a form where we apply for a visa that will be issued in China. While it is easy to get frustrated, ultimately it is really in the hands of God, his timing not ours. The outage has affected people all over the country not just us,  China's Vice Council has given the go ahead to proceed to the next step, but it  is still to be determined what will happen if the IT issue is not fixed within the timeframe need for the next step to become valid. Adoption is full of steps and forms and while some sail smoothly others get lost like a sock in the washing machine. In the instance of the missing sock it's really simple, you just wait until you figuratively find it stuck to the back of a towel in the linen closet. When adoption comes to a screeching halt you dig deep, get creative while being determined to get the momentum going. David wrote letter, I called the Visa center 42 times only to hear forty one times that they were too busy call back later.... click. David filled out a release of records, went to the State Capitol and was able to get a investigation started within our congressional system. Well we found our sock on the 13th of May.  I believe there were about 6 people who were able to get into the National Visa Center and access the form. Needless to say we were excited and felt very blessed. No as Article 5 waits to be picked we are again are inching our way towards travel approval and our family day.

Cate had her first sleepover last week and while not the slumber party kind she was truly ready to go with her Ayi (Aunt) Colleen. It was great to see the growth in her and the willingness to go. I am often reminded that our friendship is priceless. Feeling blessed, such a close friend who has been through the good the bad and the ugly. Just last weekend while driving with John David (yes he's driving ) up to Park City, he was reminiscing about his childhood and lovingly recalled the times  Colleen has stepped in and taken my place for him and Wyatt. When I worked few winters in Park City there were days of last minute appointments or inclement weather making me wait or inch my way over the pass. I would come home to find that Coll had already picked them up, made dinner and readied them for the next day. John David said those were "good" days that got better when Colleen picked them up and got them home. He said he remembers missing me, but not like the really sad missing someone, and that being with Colleen made him feel better.

We went on our first family of five camping trip and made some new connections with families that we had not spent time with. I got a little under the  weather from a winding car ride to Dead Horse Point after taking medication on a empty stomach. Cate had a blast and David was very helpful and took over the camp cooking. I am pretty sure the boys had a gray weekend , we only saw them when they needed food.

Here are  new picturea of Olivia, middle name to be determined.

Wyatt on the campout

Wyatt, with Noah B. and Nick L.

Ready to hit the road to Moab

First campout, first camp chair and first juice box

Making friends with the big kids

John David, David and Cate near Dead Horse Point

Selfie at Dead Horse Point

Cate on her first carousel ride

Blessing to all. Waiting to bring our girl home, praying for her heart and transition daily. 

We Wait

There are many roads to adoption. Most are full of bumps and potholes, beautiful scenery, days with the top down and the wind in your hair. The emotions are all over the map. Various colors of push pins strategically placed from point "A" to point "B". Weeks  of clarity, bouts of self doubt. The moment your heart, your  head and your partner say 'yes' is one for the books, the internal struggle is a game of tug of war and the internal dialogue is often bipolar. Sometimes, the process feels like  the road trip between Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise in Rainman. The drive itself is comical, heart wrenching, aggravating, pensive and at many times over whelming.

You feel like your existence and future is in the hands of others, sometimes alienated from the process because you have no control.  Their are moments where you feel like it's time to back out and moments when you long for your child, yet you have never met. Sometimes you talk out loud and sometimes you keep it all to yourself.


A couple of days ago Wyatt asked me if we could afford this adoption and I said "no not really but we will find a way". It brought me back to a time when we had little money and pizza night was a big deal, or the year David and I lived on Lipton French Onion soup and tuna sandwiches. You get creative and find a way to make it all happen. To this day our anniversary dinner is just the two of us, french onion soup and a tuna sandwich. It's a reminder of where we have been, where we are going and the knowledge that through thick and thin we will always get there.

This adoption road has been different, yet the same. As we inch towards travel our travel date and we hear China calling us back, we begin to dream instead of worry about this little girl our daughter who has delight in her eyes

Here are two clips of Cate that are too cute not to share. For now I will dream for the two little girls who will be sisters in a short time, save the worry for the teenage years....

   

We are proud to announce One more Mohr

How do I put into sum up the last 10 months ? So many moments both tender and trying. Time flies by and everyday our girl plays the game of catch up for time lost in the orphanage. She is trying so hard to talk, working on so many new skills and figuring things out.  Cate who is an explorer, a lover and most of all a Daddy's girl. Cate calls David, "Home"-  sweetest compliment for a man who through hard work, faith and determination brought a little girl named, Zi Xuan "home forever." We will never know why, the boys always call him "Dad" and I call him "David", so where does it come from? Maybe it's because  he travels for work, so maybe one too many "Daddy's home" or is it out of love or the quiet whispers in her ear. David telling her she is home, safe and will always have a family. a home with a dog, cat, brothers, food and lots of love. David is "Home" and although Cate is not able to express why, I think it simplifies so many things, she is home, love is home, home is happy, home is reliable and most of all home is where the heart is.


Last September we were given a chance to look at the file of another little girl, Yu Rui. She would be a big sister to Cate since she is 4.5 years old. We struggled with the decision and prayed to find an answer. She has spent her entire life in the same orphanage and initially we had very little information on her, in the initial picture we received she looked so sad . Her file, unlike Cate's was just one page. We talked it over for quite awhile and although it is sometimes difficult to be adding one more to our family, it means there is one less child without a family. We have been blessed to see her blossom with new pictures and video smiling and happy.  Someone within our agency once commented about her giant smile  and that she "was just holding out on us"

Here she is - I will blog and post more photos later this week. Over the moon in love.